I’m starting to come to a realization about life: It’s one big Crap Shoot.
I don’t mean this in a negative way. I mean that, in truth, life is nothing more than a roll of the dice. You can be happy and healthy one minute and in the toss of the cubes, your life changes dramatically. You can be working hard, paying your bills, involved in your community and then you get fired, laid off, injured, or sick.
You can plant seeds in the garden and the odds are that something will grow, but it isn’t a 100% guarantee.
You can teach your children to be responsible but their actions, ultimately are their own and you have no control.
You can keep your yard perfectly groomed but it doesn’t prevent the city from digging a ditch through your fescue.
Life is a Crap Shoot. You roll the dice every morning that you wake up. The outcome is out of your hands…But how you respond to the fall of the dice is another story entirely!
Four years ago, after standing in the sandwich line for 20 minutes, I blew up at the woman behind the counter when she informed me that they don’t sell half wrap sandwiches. I ranted and raved. I stormed away. I made a scene. In short, I was an ass. Don’t ask why. I have no idea why I acted that way. I can venture a guess: Stress, Frustration, Fatigue. Any number of reasons come to mind: Stupidity, Immaturity, Evil.
In what was the least important part of my day, I threw a temper tantrum. I pouted like a four-year-old because they only sold WHOLE wraps and not HALF wraps. The dice fell wrong. Big deal. But I reacted in a manner that was beyond inappropriate. I hate to think how I would have acted if it had been something important!
But here’s the rub. I knew I was wrong. I knew that my actions were out of line. And so the next day, I stood in line for another 20 minutes. Not to order a sandwich, whole or otherwise, but to apologize. It was an awkward moment for me but there was no way I would ever be able to face that woman, and all my co-workers, if I didn’t take responsibility for my actions and my reactions.
And here’s the best part of the story. To this day, Caroline (the sandwich maker) and I greet one another with a smile and a hug whenever we see one another. She calls me Darlin’ and Hon. I just call her Caroline. But occasionally will break out into my own version of Neil Diamond’s “Sweet Caroline” from across the lunch room. We talk about her vacations and she asks about my day. I am interested in her sore back and her love of NASCAR and she is happy to see me when I enter her line. The other day I wandered through the cafeteria just to wish her a happy weekend.
My initial reaction on the horrible day four years ago? Ridiculous.
My second-thought reaction four years ago and every day since? Redemptive.
The dice are going to fall. Someday, it’s going to be something that matters and the roll will not favor you. A bad diagnosis, a pink slip, a burst water pipe, hurtful revelations, whispered secrets. How you react is much more important that the final count on the dice.
Perhaps I’ve learned that much in 49 years. Perhaps.